Cutting the Esrom
by IntraSule
Summary: In which Mathias cuts the Esrom...


I don't own Hetalia nor the Nordics.

* * *

The five Nordics and little Peter were sitting together in the spacious and warm living room. Because the snow pour outside became a heavy- almost deadly- blizzard that blocked any and all routes on sidewalks and roads, they were confined to the safe and warm shelter of the Nordic family house whether they liked it or not.

And they hated it. With a passion.

But they were making the best of their situation. They were resting really well in the living room, half-engrossed in some Danish horror film Mathias was so eager to show them all. On the long sofa, Berwald was leaning back into the back cushion with Tino snuggled on his lap, Mathias was sitting next to Lukas, which gave him an opportunity to rub and squeeze Lukas's inner thighs, Lukas being too horny or too tired to stop him. On the floor, Peter was lying on his stomach and kicking his legs energetically, playing with his toy submarine and navy action figures more than watching the movie, and Emil was lying on his back, crossing his legs and crossing his hands over his chest and tilting his head back to watch the movie upside down, wondering to himself why the characters in the movie seem so familiar and if he was the only one who thought the same way.

The room was silent as one of the highly-masculine male characters in the movie crept through the mansion's long hall to search for his effeminate husband and rescue him from the killer, who happened to be the male character's brother. Mathias shifted in his seat with a small grimace.

He then snorted as he settled back down, earning him a questioning scowl from Lukas.

For a few moments, the tension in the movie built up when the male character found the killer and his husband in a bedroom, the killer holding the husband in a choke hold. Mathias shifted in his seat again. For a moment, his eyes widened as if he was caught stealing, and then he snorted again. Just as the killer snapped the effeminate husband's neck and let him fall to the floor, Mathias burst out laughing. Everyone gaped at him in disbelief.

"Mathias, you sadistic idiot," Lukas said, "what the hell is so funny about that poor guy getting ki-?" he stopped abruptly as his nostrils took in something awful. He then squinted as he tried to make out the smell, which was faint at first, until it grew stronger and stronger and Mathias's grin grew wider and wider...

Lukas jumped off the sofa. "OH, FUCKING HELL, MATHIAS, SERIOUSLY?! YOU DISGUSTING _FUCK_!" Lukas shouted as he clamped a hand over his nose. The other Nordics then looked at Lukas as if he was crazy, but they all began to smell it, too.

"Ugh! Oh, dude, _sick_!" Emil shouted as he pinched his nose. He glared heavily at Mathias. "Fucking _hate _you!"

"Mathias, really?" Tino asked in his disapproving tone. He climbed off Berwald's lap and pinched his nostrils closed.

Peter looked up at everyone and looked frightened at the commotion. "What's wrong, Mama?" he asked. He then smelled the scent and made a face. "Ew! What died in here?!"

"Nothing, sweetie, now come on," Tino grabbed Peter's hand and pulled him off the floor. He then guided Peter out of the living room before Peter's sensitive stomach took in more than it could bear.

Emil quickly stood up and went upstairs to his assigned room, shooting icy glares over his shoulder at the cackling Mathias as he did so. Lukas stormed out the living room to the dining room where the scented candles were located, pressing his hands against his nose as hard as he can. The only one to stay was Berwald.

Mathias stretched out on the sofa and rested his head on Berwald's lap. "You're not goin'?" he asked as he smiled up at Berwald's face.

Berwald grunted and kept his eyes on the television screen. "I'm used to it," he replied. He shifted in his seat to dig through his pocket and pulled out a travel-size aerosol spray. He uncapped the can and sprayed at Mathias's lower half, Mathias giggling uncontrollably as he did so.

* * *

*shakes head disapprovingly* Oh, Mathias, you stinky, stinky bastard, you. u_u

Esrom: a Danish cheese (for those of you that don't know...)


End file.
